jeudi le 12 fevrier (thurs, february 12)

Today started very badly. It's my worst day of classes - 8am straight through til 12:15 and one at 3:45 that lasts an hour.

I set my alarm for 6:20am because it takes me an hour to get out of bed. I know - terrible, but that's how I am. I guess I didn't hit the right button or didn't close out of the screen correctly because my alarm clock on my phone didn't go off..........at all. I awoke suddenly and grabbed my phone. It was 8:36am - I had missed my History of France class and had Literature at 9am in Salle RI (Room RI) - and I had NO idea where that was. NO idea. I hurried - no makeup today (zut!) and got dressed, brushed my teeth, grabbed a "pepite du chocolat" ( bread which small pieces of chocolate in it) and rushed out the door. I went to the CIDEF building and started asking a few people if they knew where it was. One man told me I had to exit the building by this certain door (he pointed to it), walk straight, and before going down the stairs, turn left and, voilà, there it was. Well, I did that, and before going down the stairs, I looked to the left. All I saw was long windows - nothing that seemed like it could be a door, much less a classroom. I went down the very first part of the steps and entered the building. There wasn't a sign there that mentioned anything about a room called RI. It was then that I began to cry. I was so frustrated. I had missed my first class, I was already 5-7 minutes late for Literature and I couldn't find the room at all. I almost gave up and just decided to go back to the CIDEF building. I just wanted to go find someplace super isolated and cry, cry, cry my heart out. I was so tired, so frustrated, so hungry, so homesick, so everything at once. Well, on my way back to the CIDEF building, I saw Ani walking with a young man...I said to her, "I can't find the f***ing salle RI!!!!" and she said, "(whatever the guy's name was)'s showing me where it is." I was so glad to see that Ani had no idea and we were once again in the same boat. We entered the class. Today we received our syllabus and such. Blah - I glanced at due dates, but didn't try to think about it too much.

During that class we analyzed an excerpt from the Nobel Prize winning novel for 2008 - Ritournelle de la faim. And by analyzed, I mean we ripped it apart - description, use of words, all that crap (sorry Ann) I HATE. I HATE this class. I HATE analyzing literature. Why can't we just read, discuss in class and be done with it??????? AHHHHH!!!!! I was soooooooooooooooooooooooo happy when that class ended. Next was Langue with Florence something or other. I think I'll just call her Madame....I'm having trouble remembering all these French surnames.

Today, I received a check from CIDEF for my food stipend - 496 euros! WOO HOO! Yeah...until I read on the paper that in order to have this money, I have to GO OPEN A FREAKING BANK ACCOUNT WITH A FRENCH BANK. You know what I have to have to open one? My passport, a student ID, a paper with my Angers address, a photocopy of my host mother's driver's license and something else I can't remember. WTF!?!? Could it be anymore complicated? It's not like I can just mail it to my sister and have her put it in my Wachovia bank account. Nope - doesn't work like that. Can't be that simple. I swear, the hoops you have to jump through to be here and live normally...ANNOYING. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE Angers. There's a lot of stuff to do (if you know where to go) and lots of things to look at. It's a pretty decent experience so far, and I've only been here about 2 weeks. But there are so many things that I have to do to make life more normal here - a lot of responsibilities that I have already (fortunately and unfortunately) learned. I can't imagine how awful it must be for someone who hasn't had to make these sorts of decisions and learn these responsibilities (i.e. - Caitlin - no offense, my love. I'm sure that things will be much different in Argentina and much less complicated.)

Well, right this minute, I'm pretty much all out of things to say, except I'm really starting to get homesick for Meredith. I want a hug. Caitlin, Hen, Dr. E, Ann, Ms. Deb...I don't care. I just feel so lonely and unfulfilled without friendly, loving physical contact. Isn't France supposed to be the country of love??? (I know Paris is the city of love, but you'd think it might apply to the country, too.)

Avec la tristesse et des larmes (With sadness and tears),
jh