How to explain? Hmm, well...I will put it like the following:
When I left the States for France, I had NO idea what I was getting myself into. Different people told me all sorts of different things, sometimes entirely contradictory to what I have experienced. I have done and learned so much. I could never view anything the same way I did before.
But leaving France to return to the States, I know what I'm returning to. I know the atmosphere, I know the people. It's all incredibly familiar...but one thing I've realized is that I don't really see the magic in Meredith anymore. I don't have the desire to come rushing back like before. I see Meredith a LOT differently than I did 4 months ago. You know the saying about home is where the heart is?
Well, for the last 2 years, my heart has been at Meredith, whereas it felt pretty homeless before then. But my heart is no longer at Meredith. My heart is in France, here in Angers. All I can think is that if I didn't have the internship with SAS, I would find a way to stay here until August. I'm already trying to figure out how I can get here again - like summer 2010. I want to be a "lectrice" like Victoria was, and about 50% of that is because I want to come back here (the other 50% of it is a combination of things). Right now, French feels more like my future than CIS, so if I can get a job that allows me to use my CIS stuff but speak French as well, I would be ecstatic. But I can't live without France. It feels too much like home now. It IS home now.
Maybe that will help you better understand.
♥,
ta belle française
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Now I am even more grateful to have worked with you this summer! To think that you would have stayed in France if not for the internship.
ReplyDeleteThings just aren't the same around the office now that you are gone.